Ever since I was a little girl I was in hopes that I would marry someone in the military, a police officer or firefighter. There was something about them that drew me to them... little did I know my childhood heart would have their prayers answered and I would have my very own fireman.
My husband is a volunteer firefighter at two companies and being a fireman's wife isn't for the faint of heart. I don't know what my childhood heart was thinking, maybe that it was cool? or that it was neat? While it is both these things, cool and neat. It is so much more. Many times I have woken up at 3 am to roll over and find my husband not there. Is he playing his blasted video game again? Nope, he's out making sure that the injured boy gets on the helicopter safely. Did he stay late at training tonight or going out with the guys? Nope, he's making sure that the house fire is completely put out.
I honestly love when he comes home from fire calls because he bounds through the door as if we had just won the lottery and has the biggest smile on his face, gives Emm and I a kiss and tells us what happened. It is where his joy is; to serve, to rescue, to protect... not just his wife and daughter but his community.
Nothing quite puts this in perspective until the one time he walks through the door and says, "It was a close one today, I felt the floor starting to budge under me..." and you realize how much is on the line. I haven't been able to get those words out of my head since. I almost want to frame a picture of this fire in our house to put things into perspective and keep it as a reminder everyday.
Part of me wanted to scream, part of me wanted to ban him from going to a fire ever again. But in those moments when he rushes out the door to a fire, when he is on a scene helping someone, when I see the fire truck barreling around the corner and the sirens blaring...I know that that is where he is supposed to be. I know that is where he is happiest. I know that is where he is completely and totally himself.
Being a firefighter's wife, girlfriend, fiance isn't for the faint of heart, but that is where there heart is. These men and women truly put their whole hearts (and bodies) into this job. Would I change any of it...never.
