be more

as we all sat down each and every one of us pulled out our phones to check what was going on. E ran around the living room playing by herself and we all sat there looking at our phones. It had been six months since we had seen our friends, yet we pulled out our phones to see what was going on in the Facebook/Instagram/email world. 

There is something seriously wrong with us today, we have become a society glued to our phones that we are missing out on precious moments, quality time and conversations with loved ones and friends. 

Lately, I have been thinking about someone near and dear to my heart that I lost two years ago. I would do anything for one more conversation or one more phone call. This made me start to wonder how I can improve who I am and show those around me that I care more, that I am there for them always, and that they mean something to me; to live with no regrets. I started reading, Saint John Paul the Great: His Five Loves by Jason Evert and something struck me. There is a part about how Saint John Paul II said many times to "be more." 

This has hit a chord in me. I want to 'be more' to those around me. I want to 'be more' to anyone and everyone I talk to. I want to 'be more' present in church. I want to 'be more' to my husband and daughter. I want to 'be more' to my family and friends. I want to 'be more' so that I know that I am doing all that I can for those I love and so I know that I wasn't so consumed in finding out the latest gossip or story on facebook/instagram/twitter, but that I was present in each moment.  

Be more to those around you. In being more you can make a difference. I know I can be more to those around me and I wish I would have started this sooner so I could have been more present to those that I have lost. I never want to live in regret, but I know that each day I can be more than I was the day before. So this is how I want to live, a life where I am pushing myself and my family to constantly be more to and for those around me. 

Be more.

Not for the faint of heart

Ever since I was a little girl I was in hopes that I would marry someone in the military, a police officer or firefighter. There was something about them that drew me to them... little did I know my childhood heart would have their prayers answered and I would have my very own fireman.

My husband is a volunteer firefighter at two companies and being a fireman's wife isn't for the faint of heart. I don't know what my childhood heart was thinking, maybe that it was cool? or that it was neat? While it is both these things, cool and neat. It is so much more. Many times I have woken up at 3 am to roll over and find my husband not there. Is he playing his blasted video game again? Nope, he's out making sure that the injured boy gets on the helicopter safely. Did he stay late at training tonight or going out with the guys? Nope, he's making sure that the house fire is completely put out.

I honestly love when he comes home from fire calls because he bounds through the door as if we had just won the lottery and has the biggest smile on his face, gives Emm and I a kiss and tells us what happened.  It is where his joy is; to serve, to rescue, to protect... not just his wife and daughter but his community.

Nothing quite puts this in perspective until the one time he walks through the door and says, "It was a close one today, I felt the floor starting to budge under me..." and you realize how much is on the line. I haven't been able to get those words out of my head since. I almost want to frame a picture of this fire in our house to put things into perspective and keep it as a reminder everyday.

Part of me wanted to scream, part of me wanted to ban him from going to a fire ever again. But in those moments when he rushes out the door to a fire, when he is on a scene helping someone, when I see the fire truck barreling around the corner and the sirens blaring...I know that that is where he is supposed to be. I know that is where he is happiest. I know that is where he is completely and totally himself.

Being a firefighter's wife, girlfriend, fiance isn't for the faint of heart, but that is where there heart is. These men and women truly put their whole hearts (and bodies) into this job. Would I change any of it...never.